


Damn the Consequences

by Startedwith1Whisper



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25396243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Startedwith1Whisper/pseuds/Startedwith1Whisper
Summary: Scully picks up a romance novel while traveling for a case, but doesn't realize she picked up the kind she hates once she's in for the night. Mulder mistakes her frustrated throwing of the book for an injury and/or an attacker and checks on her through the adjoining door. An interesting conversation ensues.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (implied)
Kudos: 20





	Damn the Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Aside from the fact that I am personally not a doctor, Scully's feelings on One Night with Consequences books are essentially mine. I work in a library, so a lot of Harlequins come through and I get extremely irritated when somebody returns yet another ONWC title. For those of you who've never read a Harlequin novel, the house does have an "inspirational" or Christian romance line, but those inspirational titles are pretty much the only titles they publish that don't have sex scenes.  
> I've only ever been a casual viewer of syndicated X-Files reruns, so I don't know enough about ufology or cryptozoology or any other unusual forms of science to feel confident writing an actual case for Mulder and Scully to investigate. Feel free to make up your own case or to apply this fic to any canon case you enjoy.

It comes out of Scully’s mouth before she can stop it: “Oh, my God!” She growls and throws the offending book across the room, relishing the dull thud as it hits the wall before falling. She really wishes she could’ve snapped it shut, but it’s a paperback. What can you do?  
Banging on the adjoining door. A tight, concerned “Scully, are you OK?”  
Her face flushes, even though he can’t see her. _Shit, Mulder thinks I fell or I’m being attacked or something!_ She quickly calls back, “I’m fine, Mulder. I just threw my book across the room.”  
“The Harlequin you literally **just** bought at the airport bookstore before we left?” He sounds amused now.  
“Yeah, we were in such a hurry that I grabbed the first one I saw and ran to the checkout counter. I only just realized it was a One Night with Consequences when I started reading.”  
Mulder pauses before replying. “You’re gonna have to translate for me, Scully. I’m not well-versed in the ways of Harlequin.”  
She sighs. “One Night with Consequences is a Harlequin subgenre revolving around accidental pregnancy, usually involving an innocent young woman and an exotic foreign man, often a tycoon or a royal.”  
“I take it they’re your least favorite?” he asks teasingly.  
Despite her anger, Scully can’t help but smile. “Mulder, these damn books piss me off to no end. As a medical doctor, I want to track down each of these authors, slap them across the face, and scream ‘Seriously, have you ever heard of birth control?!’ And as a reader, I have serious doubts about their ability to write an interesting story if they can’t think of a more creative reason than a surprise pregnancy to keep their hero and heroine connected. I get that sex scenes are the book’s-hell, pretty much the entire publisher’s-basic purpose, and I love that, but if the author’s that unoriginal about their pretext for sex, how likely is it that they’ll write their sex scenes badly, too?”  
“I get it, Scully. I mean, Harlequin’s new to me, but I’ve always been a fan of the interoffice romance myself.”  
She laughs. “Me, too. Maybe we should write one and try to sell it to Harlequin.”  
“Or make one in real life.” Even through the door, she’s pretty sure she can see his expression-raised eyebrow, full lips twisted into a playful smirk-and she thinks he’s made a **very** good suggestion. She decides to play it cool, though.  
“Don’t make me throw something at you, Mulder. Not that I exactly hate the real-life idea, I just think we should table that discussion until we finish this case and get back to DC.”  
“Makes sense. I’ll leave you to find something on TV or go to bed or whatever you’re gonna do tonight.”  
“All right, one of the channels has _Pretty Woman_ on. See you tomorrow, Mulder.”  
“Good night, Scully. Have fun with Julia and Richard!”  
As they settle in for the night, the knowledge that they can negotiate a new relationship when they get home gives them an added incentive to solve the case.


End file.
